Anyone part of a couple has felt anxiety at one time or another. But when you have a constant feeling that something is wrong, and you need to be reassured by your loved one constantly, you may be suffering from relationship anxiety. Recognizing and dealing with it is crucial, if you ever want to find happiness with someone else. Here is what you need to know to identify and solve this issue.
Learn to Calm Your Anxiety
Anxiety is never a good feeling, no matter what the reason is. But when you suffer from relationship anxiety, it can be a serious issue, as it can affect your daily life, as well as your partner’s. A little relationship anxiety is normal, according to couple therapists, but if it starts causing issue in your couple, then it is something you should deal with.
Anxiety can cause physical problems as well, which are not good for your overall health. Learning to calm your anxiety will not only help your relationship, but it will also make you feel better. The first thing you should do is focus on your breathing when you start feeling anxious. It will ease your tension, and you’ll be able to regain control of your thoughts. Intermittent Breathing could be the right breathing technique to appease anxiety.
What Causes Relationship Anxiety
According to psychotherapy, relationship anxiety is usually found in new relationships, in the phase where two individuals get to know each other. However, it can also exist in long-term relationships, which can either mean that you are in the wrong one or that you have attachment problems, which are probably the cause of this enduring anxiety. When it causes disturbances within the couple, this issue should be addressed.
People who are naturally anxious can also be the same way in a relationship. However, if this union of two people aggravates this condition, then the person should think about breaking it up, as it would not be beneficial for any of the parties in the long run. An anxious person needs someone to help calm them down. The reverse effect can have serious results on his or her mental health.
What are the Signs to look for in Identifying Relationship Anxiety?
Relationship anxiety is when someone worries too much about their relationship. It is normally rooted to a sentiment of insecurity inside the individual. It is not uncommon, since almost 20% of the population have attachment issues, which affect their relationships. These problems start occurring when the person begins to have deeper feeling for the other one, and they start worrying if he/she feels the same way.
You can tell that you are suffering from relationship anxiety when you start having these feelings:
- You are afraid to tell everything about you, believing that it will drive your partner away.
- You become jealous when your partner spends time with other people.
- You are insecure about your partner’s feelings, and you suffer from low self-esteem.
- You tend to sabotage the relationship, thinking it is better that you break-up than being dumped.
- You analyse everything your partner does (or does not do) for you, and start imagining various reasons why.
- You become needy, and you overwhelm your partner by asking for constant reassurance that he/she still loves you.
How can you Treat Relationship Anxiety?
The first thing one should do, when suffering from relationship anxiety, is to focus on one’s self a little more. As we mentioned earlier, when anxiety strikes, the person should immediately enter into a breathing technique which will help him relax. Only in such a state will it be possible to see the relationship as it really is, instead of spiralling into something created by the imagination, fuelled by stress.
Once you have understood that this issue is causing you to sabotage and destroy your relationship, start looking for the root of the problem by asking yourself: Where do these attachment issues come from? To go down that route, it is suggested you seek help from a therapist or a counsellor, which will help by asking the right questions. It will enable you to identify the past relationships that have led you to become anxious about your couple. This discovery could finally help you remove the elements that limit your capacity to trust and create close and intimate connections.
A little anxiety does not mean that you should change your partner. It is totally normal to live certain fears inside a couple. In fact, it only shows that you care deeply. A healthy relationship contains a certain amount of anxiety. After all, there is always a risk involved when you enter into a relationship. However, if that anxiety takes over your life, that it becomes a constant reason for stress, which drains you mentally and physically, you should definitely seek help so that you can save your relationship. And if it’s too late, at least you would make sure that you won’t repeat the same mistake, the next time you fall in love.
