I'm so sorry you have to go through this, I know how you fell because I've been there too...
There are many natural and alternative therapies for anxiety. I used to hate my medication too and suffered from awful side effects. Then I realized that the meds only hide the symptoms and do nothing to cure my anxiety disorder.
I have written a blog post about the best natural treatments for anxiety, the ones that were really helpful to me (so helpful that I'm free from anxiety for 2 years).
You can see my blog post here: http://www.natural-alternative-therapies.com/overcome-anxiety-and-panic/
I really hope it helps and hang in there.